Kids these days and their darned, new-fangled ways of communicating. I can't wrap my head around what anyone means when they text me "pizza pizza cat-face gun eggplant." You pretty much need to be a World War II codebreaker or have an Enigma machine to understand what the hell anyone is saying to you through the telephone chat portal. Emojis? Whatever happened to words? "Tap dance airplane crying face poop" doesn't mean anything... right?

To make things even more complicated for the future of my reading comprehension skills, 20th Century Fox and Marvel have teamed to release a complete set of emoji starring the one and only Deadpool. If you thought "silly ghost wink-face thumbs-up scared cat" was already hard enough to decipher, wait until they slap some Deadpool on it. I'm getting too old for this poop.

The emojis (revealed by Mashable) are part of the 12 Days of Deadpool promotion, which gives the X-Men's lovable, weirdo assassin more publicity than the 65 monthly books he currently stars in, and will get you prepared for the movie's release this coming February. I'll give the people at 20th Century Fox credit for finding a way to have fans talk about their movie at a time when the internet is abuzz with not talking about a certain other movie. And one that used to be under the Fox banner to boot.

If you want to torture your loved ones this holiday season, you can download the emojis for both Apple and Android devices. Honestly, I might just get these so I can send that puking Colossus to everyone all the time forever. That will teach people to text me things that aren't words. Deal with it, "jazz hands angry-face."

 

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