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End of the Week Explosion #16

Yo. It’s Labor Day weekend and I am recovering from a barbecue at which I drank too much and Seacord unlocked half the songs on my copy of GUITAR HERO ENCORE: ROCKS THE ’80s! But more importantly, the weekend means it’s time for the End of the Week Explosion, in which the Amazing Seacord answers the tough questions. And because I’m too scared to tell him in person…
Seacord, I think my GUITAR HERO axe is considering filing a restraining order.
On to the Explosion!

Increbile Change-BotsQ: I totally missed on my new releases post, but INCREDIBLE CHANGE-BOTS is, quite possibly, the greatest TRANSFORMERS parody of all time.

What’s up dude? First off I want to say that the Go-Bots are the greatest parody of the Transformers of all time. I mean, Cykill? Turbo? With names like that how can you go wrong? Besides didn’t the Transformers do a good enough parody of themselves with Beast Wars?…It just got colder in here…man that was awful. Now, if you want to talk in terms of quality, yeah, I’ll give you Change-Bots is good. Regardless I don’t care about any of this just that hot ass girl in the movie. I mean, c’mon, unreal. Seriously, school’s about to go back in session and that means me in my brand new Mustang cruising the parking lots of the local high schools. How can it be illegal? Look at Dazed and Confused…oh and by Mustang I mean Schwinn but why split hairs? At least I have a yellow bike helmet….watch out ladies there’s plenty of room on these handlebars.

Q: I downloaded STREETS OF RAGE 2 and played it for a long time on Xbox Live last night instead of playing BIOSHOCK. Do I lose all of my videogame guy credibility? Also, Eddie “Skate” Hunter sucks. I should’ve picked Axel.
Streets of Rage 2
Yes, you do unless you thought that by downloading a game from the early ’90s would somehow activate your Xbox time machine ability. Let me tell you this, after hundreds of stolen credit cards and downloads I’ve yet to activate that ability. Maybe you have to buy the upgraded Xbox? What’s it matter anyway? In World of Warcraft I’m a level 32 Elven Battlemage. Basically I’m a god among men. Axel can kiss Darmyr the Elder’s ass! (Any lady elves can IM me at Elvenpelt wink wink) As far as your time travel aspirations, Top Gun came and went, your aviator glasses will never come back in style and quit calling me Goose. It’s just creepy now. Again that’s Elvenpelt on the Wonderland Server.

Q: Looks like Stephen Sommers, the guy who directed the Mummy and Van Helsing, is attached to the GI JOE movie. Plus, a CGI JUSTICE LEAGUE movie? Ummm….

Great, the guy who worked with Brandon “Encino Man” Fraser is now going to re-write my childhood. Nice. So stoked. Yeah, I snuck into both those movies so I didn’t really see them, but the ten minutes I did see before I got “escorted” out for bootlegging was less then stellar. Seriously, Hollywood doesn’t care what they put up on the screen. I can’t wait to see who they cast as Dr. Mindbender, Sir Pentor, Zartan, etc. You’d think with so much material that they couldn’t screw this up…it’s a simple war movie. At least make it “Die Hard” PG-13. How that movie got that rating is beyond me. I’m thinking John Rambo will barely make R. As for a CGI Justice League movie, what’s wrong with the cartoon? Just leave well enough alone. At least they didn’t tap Alex Ross’ muses for JLA pictures. I’m pretty sure he has an extensive black book filled with trannys they way Wonder Woman looks in some of those drawings. It’s even colder in here now…

Q: “Miss Teen USA South Carolina” is in the running to get a Nobel Prize for “such as, to be able to build up our future.” How do you think she’ll be received by the judges from South Africa and The Iraq? Will they hate her because she is a U.S. American?

Since the Miss Teen USA fell through and I’m pretty sure the Nobel Prize will go to some jackass who created mouse Viagra (thank you, Mr. Colbert) I think she should just give up and make the jump to porn now. After 400 or so movies you get a comic!

Halo Uprising #1Q: Dude, Comics Alliance is now a Halo page. Halo press releases, Halo comic reviews and HALO WARS gameplay trailers abound. Doesn’t everyone know that Gaylo sucks and Gearz of War rulz?! That being said, I’ve already preordered my copy of HALO 3 from 7-11 so I can get it at 12:01AM on September 25th…That sentence had a lot of numbers in it.

Yeah I know you reserved a copy (thanks for ignoring me. You realize you had to step over me for that slurpee?) I can’t believe how much people love talking about a game when they aren’t playing it. How much different can this one possibly be? I’m with you on Gears of War. Silly fun. But screw Halo on the 25th. That day is holier than holy because Down III comes out. What is Down III, you ask? If you don’t know I hate you already. On that note I’ll bring the CD over at about 12:15 and we’ll kick some sixth grader ass!

Looks like I’ll spend September 25th killing Elites while Phil Anselmo melts my face as I down a half-case of Pabst. Seacord is a bad influence.

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