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Old School The Punisher Action Figure Has A Nuclear Libido

If you thought FrankenCastle was bad, wait until you get a load of FrankenRocketGroin.

Fail Blog
has graciously provided information that the comic book community has long suspected but never had proof of – like Jesse “The Body” Ventura, Frank Castle is a sexual tyrannosaurus. Unlike Venture, however, he’s also got a nuclear rocket in his Punisher pocket. Or at least an explosive one…

Either way, there once existed an action figure version of the Punisher sporting a rocket launcher for a male sex organ, not unlike Sex Machine in “From Dusk Till Dawn,” except Frank’s gun is significantly more powerful and huge. No disrespect intended towards the great Tom Savini, of course.

Honestly, did ToyBiz really think this was a good idea? Did Marvel have any say in the matter? Is there a reason that neither myself nor anyone I’ve spoken to can remember this exact line of action figures? Was it recalled? Did somebody have the foresight to realize that Frank’s frank shouldn’t be featured quite so prominently on a child’s toy?

If nothing else, this sure puts new meaning on the idea of wearing protection, doesn’t it?

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