He-Man’s PSAs Teach You Useful Life Lessons in the Weirdest Possible Ways

Whether it's "Sailor Moon Says" or "Knowing is Half the Battle," I am a guy who loves the public service announcements that used to run at the end of cartoons. In fact, one of the only things I don't like about Jem is that they only ever did four or five little segments that taught you how doing the right thing could make you a superstar. The thing I love most about them tends to be weird they are in the context of the shows they spring from -- like, how did those kids even know who these covert military specialists were, anyway?

But for sheer PSA madness, nobody -- but nobody -- beats He-Man and the Masters of the Universe. And thanks to the magic of the Internet, we can all all learn a little something today. Check out a collection of He-Man's Life Lessons after the cut!

It's worth noting that this collection doesn't include what's probably the most well-known of He-Man's PSAs, the one about sexual abuse, in which the producers of the show apparently decided that the best way to address that tricky subject was by having Orko threaten to punch out anyone who tried to touch whatever the heck he's got under that dress.

What it does have, though, is almost as dubious. First up is He-Man's stentorian voice letting children know that there are no "magic potions." That's He-Man. A guy who is literally transformed into a fantasy super-hero by magic. They maybe could've thought that one through a little better.

After that, things stay more or less normal for a few minutes , until Teela steps up to tell us all about the Magna Carta and things get weird again. Much like having He-Man reject the very idea of magic potions, having a couple members of an honest-to-Grayskull monarchy come out and talk about how great democracy is seems to run just a bit counter to their characters. Then again, a critical lack of Destros and Baronesses meant that I was never really a fan of MOTU when I was a kid, so maybe I just missed the episode where Eternia held elections.

Actually, now that I think of it, a political debate between Prince Adam and Skeletor would've probably been amazing.

Overall, though, most of the issues tackled in He-Man's PSAs are exactly the sort of thing you'd expect. Drugs, self-confidence, being nice to people, they're all good lessons for kids to learn. And then Ram-Man shows up to tell you not to run straight into things with your head.

I'd question whether or not this was really necessary -- even kids probably know better than to run straight at a wall and bash their skulls into it -- but I guess when you have a character who does exactly that on a regular basis in order to solve his problems, it's better to do the PSA than to face the inevitable lawsuit.

So thank you, He-Man, for teaching the children of America about the Magna Carta, "magic drugs" and a good way to avoid head injuries. Truly, we all have the power.