Joseph Larkin Loses His Mind Over Bad Review
We've talked about poor ways of handling bad reviews before, but this one trumps them all. Comics writer and blogger Kevin Church recently posted a review, of sorts, of Larkin's new comic 'Arcade of Cruelty.' Larkin showed up in the comments almost immediately, with a response so spectacular that I'm going to post it in its entirety:
"LOL, my friend! I doff my cap to you, funny guy! A clever "review" like that deserves an equally clever retort. Here's mine: I just Mapquested (not a real word) directions to [REDACTED], which you may recognize as your street address. I'm about to hop into my expensive luxury automobile, where I will write the word "FAIL" in black magic marker on the knuckles of my right fist, you know, my punching fist. Many hours from now, I will use that fist to pound on your door, which you will foolishly open only to be greeted by a tsunami of punches, kicks and gnashing teeth. I will pummel you until the word "FAIL" is tattooed on your stupid f--king face and imprinted on every one of your stupid f--king teeth, even the ones that will no longer be in your smart little mouth, the one that's never ever kissed a girl. I'll handily ask through clenched teeth, "How'd you like THAT s--t-sandwich, bitch?!" You will say nothing in response because you are a cowardly pussy of a man that has never kissed a girl let alone fondled a girl's breasts. See you soon! "
Ah, nothing compels me to buy a comic quite like a creator who communicates like a 13-year-old internet troll with anger control problems! A quick google reveals that Church is hardly the only person with negative things to say about the comic -- including one remarking that Larkin goes to great pains to "present himself as a thoroughly awful human being." For bonus class points, Larkin reviewed his own book on Amazon.com, giving it five stars.