In the fourth quarter of 2010, Conan will kick your butt and steal your woman. Well, maybe not your butt or your woman. Perhaps he'll just plant his boot heel on your favorite statue's most prized possessions, which might be even worse.

However the savage Cimmerian warrior chooses to enact his vengeance, this much is certain - Conan is a total maniac, as represented by the upcoming "Conan: The Prize Polystone Diorama" statue from Sideshow Collectibles. The only thing more insane than the actual statue itself? The textual description that Sideshow equipped it with.Observe:

The two guards heard the commotion and tried to react, but the cause of it was on them before sword had fully cleared scabbard. One, given his hungry stomach its fill of blade; the other, shoulders freed of a perplexed head. As the bodies fell to the temple floor, the warrior, black-maned and panther-like in gait, bounded past them unfaltering.

Conan, Cimmerian born and battlefield raised, locked his steel gaze ahead on the girl. Chaos erupting behind him, and with no chance to stop, he scooped her up in his left arm, while tensing his axe-bearing right for any attack that may come.

"Stop your struggling!" belted the Cimmerian. "Better in my arms than in theirs!"

Knowing he was right, the girl conceded to his grip, and relaxed onto his bronzed shoulder. Feeling her do so, Conan gathered speed and leapt into the night with his rescued prize.

And that about sums it up.

The price and shipping date aren't currently known, but I have a hunch that it'll come out to $MoreThanYourLife and Not/Soon/Enough.

[Source: Toy News International]