The Comics Alliance Halloween Costume Countdown: ABSOLUTE HORROR!
Halloween is here at last, and at ComicsAlliance, that means we’re gearing up for a night of costumes! It’s the one time of year when even people like me who could never cut it in our Best Cosplay Ever feature can drop by the local department store and walk out with the ability to dress up as our favorite characters.
But is that really a good thing? I have my doubts, which is why I’ve spent every day in October taking on the store-bought costumes inspired by our favorite things. Today, I’m diving into store-bought masks and their tendency to lean towards ABSOLUTE HORROR.
I think a lot of people have a thing about full-face masks and how creepy they are, and to be honest, that’s kind of what Halloween is all about. But sometimes — often, actually — these things manage to hit onto soul-crushing horror even when they don’t mean to.
Option 1: Annoying Orange
Okay, putting aside the dead-eyed horror on display here, I have an honest question: Do people actually like Annoying Orange? I mean, it lives up to its title so you know what you’re getting into right from the start, but still. I’m someone who only turns Cartoon Network off when it’s time to watch pro wrestling, and even I can’t imagine sitting down and actually watching that show. But hey, on the bright side, it’s provided us with something you could hide in an old person’s closet if you ever want to kill them without leaving a trace. That’s… nice?
Option 2: Hagrid Adult Mask
HALLOWEEN SAFETY TIP: If someone wearing this mask informs you that you are a wizard, do not accompany him to any “schools.” Just start kicking.
Also, I have to say that it’s kind of weird that of all the versions of Hagrid that they could’ve chosen to make a creepy-ass mask of, they went ahead and used the one from when he was constantly covered in open cuts and oozing sores. Guys. Why would you do this.
Option 3: Deluxe Phineas Mask
GAH! This… Oh man. I don’t think that I’ve watched much of Phineas & Ferb, but I’ve seen enough to know that in animation, the lead character does not look like some kind of hellish combination of Alec Baldwin’s character from Beetlejuice and the pinheads from Tod Browning’s Freaks. This was actually the one I saw way back at the beginning of the month and knew I’d eventually be doing a segment on truly alarming horror, because nothing, nothing could be more terrifying than this mask.
Option 4: Barney Rubble Mask
GOOD LORD! (CHOKE)
WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING MAKING THIS AND TRYING TO SELL IT TO CHILDREN