If you are a jaded, bitter superhero reader like we are here at ComicsAlliance, America's Grumpiest Comic Book News Site™, then you probably respond with announcements of variant covers with an eyeroll and a noncommittal grunt, and may even go as far as to say "Variants! Bah!" out loud to an empty room full of action figures. That's what we usually do, but not today, friends and neighbors. Not today.

Because today, DC Comics announced that most of the cape (and one He-Man) comic they publish in December is going to have a "widescreen" variant by Darwyn Cooke, and holy cats, they are some of the most beautiful DC superhero pictures we have ever seen. The fold-out covers find Cooke's clean-line, retro superhero style in full effect, depicting variously action packed, funny and tender scenes from a DC Universe that, sadly, doesn't really exist. It's a look and vision for which Cooke's become famous, and which was demonstrated most popularly in DC: The New Frontier, The Spirit, and later, considerably less popularly, in Before Watchmen: Minutemen. More recently, Cooke's been employing a grittier and more authentically vintage approach in his hugely acclaimed Parker graphic novels, adapted from the crime books of Richard Stark, but he continued to work with the DC icons with covers for Batwing, Justice League and All-Star Western -- the finale of which he illustrated from cover to cover.

Collected here are all 23 covers Cooke has created for DC's December variant scheme. Click below to launch the gallery viewer --  just kidding, we don't hate you! (most of you)

 

Batman & Robin #37 - Click for full size

 

Green Lantern Corps #37 - Click for full size

 

Supergirl #37 - Click for full size

 

Justice League United #7 - Click for full size

 

Grayson #5 - Click for full size

 

Harley Quinn #12 - Click for full size

 

Superman #37 - Click for full size

 

Teen Titans #5 - Click for full size

 

Catwoman #37 - Click for full size

 

Green Lantern #37 - Click for full size

 

Sinestro #8 - Click for full size

 

Wonder Woman #37 - Click for full size

 

Batgirl #37 - click to enlarge

 

Batman #37 - Click for full size

 

Batman/Superman #17 - Click for full size

 

Flash #37 - Click for full size

 

Justice League #37 - Click for full size

 

Aquaman #37- Click for full size

 

He-Man: The Eternity War #1 - Click for full size

 

Detective Comics #37 - click to enlarge

 

Justice League Dark #37 - click to enlarge

 

Superman/Wonder Woman #14 - click to enlarge

 

 

 

Images via Newsarama, IGN, CBR, ComicVine, Hitfix, Yahoo News and other sites that DC likes more than us :(