Marvel Announces End Of All Announcements; There Will Be No Further Announcements
In a special announcement at 3pm Eastern Standard Time on Tuesday 20th January 2015, Marvel ended all announcements. Specific details of the announcement are not available at this time, and presumably will never be made available, because there will be no further announcements.
The announcement of the end of all announcements comes as sad news to people who were hoping to know what comics might be coming out after existing solicitations run dry in April, or who might play Iron Fist in the Netflix show, or who might play Captain Marvel in the movie. On the bright side, the end of all announcements also means that future Marvel event comics will just happen without any fanfare, and that'll be a nice surprise.
Prior to ending all announcements, Marvel trailed its forthcoming Secret Wars book by promising that time runs out and everything ends. This fatalistic disclosure will serve as a comforting memento mori as we wait for death with no new announcements to distract us from the pitiful emptiness of existence.
Fortunately the end of all announcements will provide relief from the confusing state of constant flux created by past announcements. Ten years ago, in House of M, we learned that nothing would ever the same again. Sure enough, after that day, lemons tasted of strawberries, and dogs walked backwards, and snow was hot.
Nothing has been the same again several times since; in Spider-Man Loves Mary Jane in 2007, and in Captain America #615 in 2011, in Journey Into Mystery in 2012, and more other times than we can count. On some occasions, everything changed, which is quite similar to things never being the same again. Some specific things have also never been the same again, including the Ultimate Universe, Ultimate Spider-Man, the Ultimates and the Ultimate Universe again. Sometimes even the Marvel Universe was never the same again.
With today's announcement ending all announcements, we expect everything to be the same forever, and for nothing to ever be different. Starting in exactly one hour, ComicsAlliance will become a Peggle message board.
Melanie, Lisa; sing us out.