Marvel super-heroes undergoing strange transformations isn’t really a new idea: Captain America’s been a werewolf, Storm and Wolverine have been vampires in “What If,” and heck, there’s an entire universe where the Marvel Super-Heroes have been turned into zombies, and one where they’re all apes, some of whom are also vampires. With FrankenCastle, however–the story in which Frank Castle, The Punisher, has been brutally dismembered and killed by Daken and then stitched up into a revenge crazed Frankenstein’s Monster–they have hit new heights of awesome craziness, and the possibilities are endless.
So as Marvel inches steadily towards putting out something like Monster Plus, the Frankenstein Werewolf Zombie Vampire from the Moon in the Future, we’ve gotten ComicsAlliance contributor Chris Sims to stitch together a list of the monster mash-ups we’d like to see (with Photoshops by Caleb Goellner)!
The combination of Spider-Man
and Tyrannosaurus Rex
might seem a little far-fetched (even by the standards of a guy who was replaced by his own clone for a year), but considering that one of Spidey’s lesser known–and more awesome–bad guys is Stegron the Dinosaur Man
, it’s not that much of a stretch after all.
Really, though, we just want to see Spidey web-swinging with those tiny, tiny arms. Seriously, Marvel: Call us.
Prince Namor, the Were-Mariner!
Given that he’s already sort of a hybrid creature prone to terrifying rages, Namor
‘s essentially just a less hairy versoin of a werewolf anyway. Still, adding another layer onto him has its appeal: We’ve all seen how much better lycanthropy makes you at basketball
, imagine how good Atlantis’s water-polo team would be if they were led by a werewolf with wings on his feet!
“Thanks for joining us on the program, Joe. Can you tell us what you saw?”
“Well Larry, as you can see in the picture, he was walkin’ out the woods, an’ he was huge, all shoulders an’ giant thighs. Had some weird growths all over him too, like pouches. He was carryin’ this gigantic metal log, too.”
“Do you think it might’ve been Bigfoot?”
“Bigfoot? Well t’be honest, Larry, I didn’t see his feet. seemed like he was standin’ in an ankle-high cloud of dust.”
Darezilla, the Kaiju Without Fear!
If the radioactive substance that blinded Matt Murdock
had come from Tokyo instead of New York, there’s a good chance we would’ve found out what’s worse than a giant, fire-breathing atomic super-lizard: A giant, fire-breathing atomic super-lizard lawyer that had no idea where it was going
Trying to get girls into comics is one of the trickiest problems that the major companies face, but we’ve figured out a solution that is elegant in its simplicity. Just take the most popular character Marvel’s got–Wolverine
, natch–and combine him with a sparkly rainbow unicorn
! Girls love that stuff, so–Hang on.
Uh, we’ve just been told by ComicsAlliance lead blogger Laura Hudson that we should move on right now unless we want our asses fired.
When the toy that inspired Marvel’s ROM: Spaceknight
comic was originally created, it was intended to be an Egyptian mystic rather than a cyborg from space, so why not bring him back as a mummy? If nothing else, wrapping him up in bandages might be a good way to get around the copyright troubles that have kept him out of print for the past 23 years.
The Hulk of the Opera!
The musical adaptation of The Phantom of the Opera
is the longest running Broadway musical and one of the most lucrative pieces of entertainment ever made. Presumably this is despite
the fact that it lacks a Gamma-powered monosyllabic rampaging engine of destruction in the lead role, which is a problem we’re more than willing to fix.
Combining the X-Men‘s resident cajun with the terror of Latin America might seem like our strangest idea yet, but bear with us. With a name that literally translates as “goat-sucker,” the Chupacabra is known for sucking the blood of livestock. Gambt, on the other hand, just flat-out sucks.