Original Spin 4: Tensions Come To A Head [Marvel Original Sin Recap]
Some sites give you the story, some sites give you the story behind the story, but only Original Spin gives you the story behind the story behind the story, because only Original Spin takes the time to really make it up.
This week on our exclusive, thorough, slightly inaccurate recap of the events of Marvel epic crossover event Original Sin, we dig deep into the bickering in Original Sin #4 by Jason Aaron and Mike Deodato, and we take a side-trip through Mighty Avengers #10 and #11 by Al Ewing and Greg Land. Here be spoilers.
STRANGECASTLE: FAREWELL TOUR?
Reports emerged today that psychedelic prog rock duo Strangecastle may be headed for a break-up, with people close to the group claiming that a guy who fights extra-dimensional elder gods teaming up with a bloke with a gun wasn’t very plausible to begin with.
Strange and Castle nearly came to blows following their latest monster hit, which was an actual hit on an actual monster. The possible break-up comes as a blow to fans who said that three issues of these two guys standing around in another dimension looking at monster corpses just wasn’t enough. Another couple of issues of extra-dimensional monster-corpse-watching would have been perfect.
Sadly the tour bus waits for no man, and Strangecastle were scheduled to perform opposite heavy metal rebels Sniktsmash at Misunderstandapalooza before moving on to a private gig for a mysterious benefactor on a secret space satellite. (Probably Blue Ivy.)
SCANDAL AS FIGHT BREAKS OUT IN COMIC
Controversy today on the set of popular daytime talk show The Watch, which brings together a panel of well-known costumed adventurers to stand around in a dark hallway for, like, twenty pages to talk about the latest news, celebrity gossip, and the slowly advancing plot of the crossover. During a segment on Nick Fury’s radical weight loss (he had his head cut off — some say it’s risky but the results speak for themselves), right wing pundit Elizabeth Punisher nearly came to blows with left-wing pundit Joy Wintersoldier.
The scene escalated when Gamora, in town to promote her forthcoming movie, crossed paths with… I think this is Dakota Fanning?
Producers for The Watch claimed the incident has been blown out of proportion, and stressed that the panelists are sure to team up next issue to fight Numinus or something.
SWIPE FILE: ORIGINAL SIN
In Swipe File we present two or more images that show really obvious swipes. The Swipe File doesn’t judge, it just takes a big stick and points it and says, “Hey! Hey, everyone! Hey! Look at this! Hey! HEY!”
This week, Winter Soldier swipes at Gamora with Nick Fury’s decapitated head as the various splinter factions investigating the Watcher’s murder were brought together on a space station.
And Gamora swipes at Winter Soldier with her sword.
Blatant swipes. But we’re not judging. So don’t make a big thing of it, OK?
SIN STUNNER ULANA IS “WATCHING” FOR A NEW FELLA
Some people like to watch; sexy bobblehead Ulana likes to play. The recently widowed wife of Uatu Watcher wasted no time getting back into the game according to eyewitness reports in the pages of Mighty Avengers. Bereavement never looked sexier than Ulana’s cleavage-revealing slit-to-the-waist lilac dress. You might say the merry widow flashing a bit of all-seeing thigh.
The busty bombshell was spotted in the company of a snazzily dressed Dr. Adam Brashear. Rumor has it Ulana is so hot for “the Blue Marvel” that she might promise him the moon — or at least a glimpse of it.
What Adam may not know is that Ulana carries her own baggage, and we’re not talking her collection of freaky trans-dimensional artifacts. Ulana has a terrifying floaty-head space baby who may be in need of a daddy figure. For a lot of guys, that sounds like the ultimate nullifier!
Speaking of Mighty Avengers; this week’s issue revealed the first truly enormous shock twist to come out of the Pandora’s Box that is the Watcher’s eyeball. It turns out… Luke Cage is not as cool as his dad!
These latest documents reveal that 70s blaxploitation hero Luke Cage was never actually a 70s blaxploitation hero, and all his credibility has been transferred to his father’s vampire-busting cop antics. Sorry, Luke; the Marvel sliding timeline really screwed you on this one.
And on the subject of sliding timelines…
NICK FURY IS REALLY OLD NOW (BUT NOT DEAD): EXCLUSIVE!
Yeah, turns out that sliding timeline thing doesn’t always work out; sometimes you just get old. But against all expectations, we can now reveal that Nicky Fury did not die last issue. It turns out — and no-one could have predicted this — that it was just a Life Model Decoy. This is why obituaries in the Marvel Universe are written with Sharpies on wipe-clean boards.
The return of Nick Fury raises many interesting questions. First of all, why does he look his age? Was the whole business about the Infinity Formula just a lie? Have all his appearances been robots this whole time and literally no-one ever noticed? Was that one Marvel Spotlight story where he jeopardized national security to get more of the formula all just to keep up appearances? Did Contessa Valentina Allegra di Fontaine turn evil because her boyfriend kept making her kiss a Real Doll?
And, say, anyone remember that story in the mid-’90s when the Punisher destroyed all of Fury’s LMDs so he could be sure he was killing the real Nick, and then he killed the real Nick? But it turned out to be a Tony Stark LMD that was so realistic it also fooled Wolverine and Tony Stark? (He was probably drunk.) Are we now to believe that the super-realistic LMD was commissioned… by an even more super-realistic LMD? Is it LMDs all the way down? How do we know this Nick Fury isn’t just a really old LMD?
Also, why does Old Nick Fury surround himself with young rugged muscular copies of himself, and why do they giant metal codpieces?
Come to think of it; they haven’t actually said which sin is the original one yet, have they?
Header graphic by Dylan Todd.