In our recurring feature, ComicsAlliance brings you the best comic book adventures that do not, could not, and sometimes should not exist: Great Comics That Never Happened! This week, Chris Sims and the amazing artist Kerry Callen bring you the holiday traditions re-imagined for a whole new generation of today's mature, edgy readers!


Check out the full cover for this bold new direction after the cut!


Santa Squad #1

Story by Chris Sims

Art by Kerry Callen

You think you know Christmas? Think again! When he's up against problems even he can't handle, the fat man calls in three deadly operatives with nothing to lose:

Blood Red Rudolph: "How does it feel to be no one's favorite reindeer?" Those were the words that drove young Rudolph to make a pact with the forces of darkness, trading his very soul away for the power that would give him his revenge on those who tormented him. Now, with razor-sharp antlers, a nose that burns blood red with demonic fire and a sadistic streak a mile long, Santa Claus has put him to work taking down the enemies of Christmas. But can anyone control his fury for long?

Frost: They say he's a fairy tale, but that's the last thing that goes through their minds -- before a bullet from one of his smoking '45s! Built out of a combination of Christmas magic and cybernetic technology, Frost is the ultimate cold-blooded killer. How do you stop an assassin who can just melt away? You can't. Just pray he's not coming for you.

And their leader: Krampess. She's been chained up in the North Pole's dungeons for centuries, but don't worry -- she's into that. Whether it's high explosives, handguns, or good old fashioned birch rods slapping against bare flesh, she knows all the ways to deal out punishment. Santa Claus might handle the nice ones, but for Krampess, it's all about finding out who's been naughty.

Together, they're the Santa Squad. You better watch out -- you just might die!!

See more from Kerry Callen, and check out the complete GCTNH Archive!