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‘Super Mario Bros.’ at the 1988 Ice Capades: Great Thing or Greatest Thing?

I’ve seen a lot of things in this crazy world of ours, but never in all my years have I witnessed an argument for the fact that we’re living in the best of all possible worlds as compelling as the existence of this:

An installment of the 1988 Ice Capades based on Super Mario Bros.

Unearthed by 4 Color Rebellion, this is basically one of the most amazing things I’ve ever seen for a variety of reasons, not the least of which is that it stars Jason Bateman, Alyssa Milano and — in his breakout role as Bowser, King of the Koopas — Mr. Belvedere. And as a testament to the power of the Internet, it’s on YouTube. Check out the whole video after the jump!

For those of you who want to save the video for a special occasion or whose minds have been irreparably blown by what they saw, here’s a quick summary: After future Arrested Development star Jason Bateman introduces Alyssa Milano to the NES with the most excited delivery of the word “Nintendo” that wasn’t spoken by a kid on Christmas morning, a “computer virus” shatters the bonds of reality and allows the characters from Super Mario Bros. to enter the real world.

At which time they begin ice skating, because of course they do.

The army of stompable bad guys is led by Bowser, as played by Christopher Hewett, who is best known to sitcom aficionados as TV’s Mr. Belvedere, who promptly starts rolling around the ice on a motorized version of the Mushroom Kingdom’s castles:

Commanding the respect of his troops through the sheer power of his bow-tie and a truly amazing pair of plaid pants, he commands his various armies to go forth and wreak havoc:

In order to deal with all this mayhem, Princess Toadstool — whose voice is, for whatever reason, clearly aiming for Mae West but ending up somewhere just oustside Lois Griffin — summons the Mario Brothers, who descend from the heavens:

At this point, I think it’s worth noting that of the four main characters, the ones that actually look like people (Mario, Luigi and the Princess) are all wearing huge foam mascot heads, while the giant fire-breathing turtle dragon is just a dude in plaid pants with green makeup and a crown.

Anyway, Mario and Luigi start skating, and before long, they deal with the bad guys just like they do in the video game: They blow them up with bazookas.

Like I said: There’s a good chance that this is the greatest thing ever. Or at the very least, the greatest use of the Ice Capades.

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