The Comics Alliance Halloween Costume Countdown: Generic Superheroines
October is finally upon is, and here at ComicsAlliance, and one of the best parts of the month is gearing up for Halloween with costumes! It’s the one time of year when even people like me who could never cut it in our Best Cosplay Ever feature can drop by the local department store and walk out with the ability to dress up as our favorite characters.
But is that really a good thing? I have my doubts, which is why I’m spending every day taking on the store-bought costumes inspired by our favorite things. Today, we’re heading into the discount aisle and trying not to violate copyrights with Generic Superheroines!
Option 1: “Wonder Heroine”
I spotlighted another trademark-free version of Wonder Woman a few days ago, but unsurprisingly, there are a lot of generic versions of everyone’s favorite amazon-princess-made-of-clay-who-fights-a-psychic-little-person floating around out there. I’m actually pretty partial to this one, mainly because I can’t tell if the belt is supposed to be rocking an inverted pentagram, or if she just put the belt on upside down and nobody taking Halloween costume product photos could be bothered to fix it.
Option 2: “Crimson Widow”
I’m not sure if this was supposed to be a slinky version of Black Widow that they made without actually knowing who she was, or, for that matter, if it’s supposed to be a sexy version of a black widow that got lumped in with the superhero costumes by mistake. Either way, I think they accidentally succeeded in making Sexy Miles Morales. Good… job?
Option 3: “Hot Metal Mistress”
I just want to point out that “Hot Metal Mistress” is the actual retail name of this costume, and while I guess she could be a faithless jezebel who’s really into Slayer, I don’t see what that has to do with the suit.
Also, if you’re riffing on a character who has to use repulsor technology to keep a piece of shrapnel from puncturing his heart, maybe skip the cleavage window, just this once.
Option 4: “Sexy American Heroine”
“Boss, we got a problem! All the stripes on the Sexy Barbershop Pole corsets came out vertical instead of spiraling! And these Sexy The Depths Of Space catsuits only got printed with one star instead of the endless expanse of the Milky Way! We’re in big trouble this year!”
“Relax, Johnson! I think I have a plan!”
Option 5: “Feline Femme Fatale”
The line between “Generic Catwoman Costume” and “Sexy Kitty Cat” is a thin one indeed, but the bare-minimum-of-effort attempts to add those Batman Returns stitches make it pretty clear what they were going for here. But that’s not what’s really notable about this one.
On the site I’ve been going to, some of the costumes have videos as well as pictures so you can see how they look in all angles. This one had one, and when I went to look to see if it had a tail (it does), I found that the video was a nine-second clip of the model turning around and making a kitty-scratching motion… which then looped and repeated five times.
Halloween costume sites are weird, you guys.