Contact Us

The Onion Reveals The True Cost Of Global Warming: Lost Arctic Lairs

For comic book readers, it’s no secret that the polar ice caps are home to a bevy of would-be world conquerors and beings seeking solitude, but now these sacred locations are threatened by man’s harmful relationship with nature.

The world’s finest news source” (we mean it – they photograph real comic bloggers posing as brides and chocolate lovers) reveals that these secret arctic lairs are now being exposed as their icy coverings melt — and at an astonishing rate to boot!
The Onion breaks it down in terms that would make Al Gore blush:

“We always assumed there would be some secret lairs here and there, but the sheer number now being exposed is indeed troubling,” said noted climatologist Anders Lorenzen, who claimed that the Arctic ice caps have shrunk at the alarming rate of 41,000 square miles per year. “In August alone we discovered 44 mad scientist laboratories, three highly classified military compounds, and seven reanimated and very confused cavemen. That’s more than twice the number we had found in the previous three decades combined.”

While the article focuses primarily on the forces of evil hiding in the arctic, it’s important to note that Superman’s Fortress of Solitude may also be threatened. He can probably handle relocating, but why take the chance? If there were ever a reason to demand clean energy, this is it.

Best of the Web

More From Around the Web

Leave a Comment

It appears that you already have an account created within our VIP network of sites on . To keep your points and personal information safe, we need to verify that it's really you. To activate your account, please confirm your password. When you have confirmed your password, you will be able to log in through Facebook on both sites.

Forgot your password?

It appears that you already have an account on this site associated with . To connect your existing account with your Facebook account, just click on the account activation button below. You will maintain your existing profile and VIP program points. After you do this, you will be able to always log in to http://comicsalliance.com using your Facebook account.

Please fill out the information below to help us provide you a better experience.

Register on Comics Alliance quickly by logging in with your Facebook account. It's just as secure, and no password to remember!

Not a Member? Sign Up Here.

Register on Comics Alliance quickly by logging in with your Facebook account. It's just as secure, and no password to remember!