Captain Kirk of the starship Enterpise has been passionately thrusting himself into massive natural landforms, and he would like to tell you about it. Or rather, William Shatner would. "There's a passionate affair going on between Kirk and the mountain," said Shatner in a recent dance remix. "He wants to make love to the mountain."

Then there's a clip where he starts talking about "tough young guys, sinewy bodies and their fingers and teeny toes," which doesn't have anything to do with anything, but is awesomely gay!

"Why do I climb the mountain?" Shatner kirks. "Because I'm in love."

No, I'M IN LOVE. With this video.