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Failed Senate Candidate Alvin Greene Bluewaters Himself with a Superhero Twist

In what might be the first case of pre-emptive Bluewatering, the hapless and failed Democratic candidate for Senator of South Carolina, Alvin Greene, has released his own ridiculous comic book. Compounding the delicious horribleness of it all, Greene is presenting himself as a costumed superhero who saves people from bank foreclosures and, hilariously and almost certainly litigiously, calls himself the Ultimate Warrior.Greene won South Carolina’s Democratic primary for Senate in June of this year despite barely campaigning at all. Famously, then-Candidate Greene had not attended any Democratic Party functions, did not file his campaign forms properly, and attempted to pay the election’s filing fee with a personal check. Press interviews with Greene were characterized by ineptly delivered Democratic talking points and variously incoherent babbling about Korea, where Greene served before being involuntarily discharged from the Army in 2009. When confronted with questions about his felony obscenity charges for allegedly showing pornographic materials to a female college student, Greene suggested she apologize to him for pressing said charges.

Indeed, so confounding was Greene’s primary win over rival Vic Rawl that pundits wondered openly whether Greene’s candidacy was part of some brilliant Republican conspiracy to insure victory in the general election. Naturally, Republican Jim DeMint trounced Greene in last night’s midterms.

The Huffington Post reports that Greene’s “celebration” party, which was attended by more media representatives than actual supporters, was focused on his and artist Bob Raymond’s Ultimate Warrior comic book, the name of which will almost certainly bring down the litigious wrath of World Wrestling Entertainment (whose CEO also lost her controversial bid for the Senate in Connecticut). Greene described the fictionalized version of himself as someone who can “see into the future,” “leap higher than Michael Jordan” and “take on the Hulk.”

Alvin Greene is the Ultimate Warrior.

I will stop house foreclosures. Big banks got their bailout. Their debt was forgiven and you paid for it. They each got million-dollar bonuses. Did they forgive your debt? Did you get a bonus?

I will save your house and your job.

As Newsarama’s Albert Ching points out, while Greene put virtually no tangible effort towards actually running his senatorial campaign, he has somehow completed a four-page comic book — which he describes on his website as a 5-page novel, defying the physics of comic book production whereby the paper is bound and folded in multiples of four.


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