Batman, ‘The Daily Show’, and the Fall of Western Civilization
Click the Image Above to Watch ComicsAlliance’s Chris Sims on the Daily Show
Western civilization collapsed Tuesday evening following an appearance on Comedy Central’s fake news program The Daily Show by real-life ComicsAlliance blogger Chris Sims. The topic of discussion was the fictional character Batman — specifically, a make-believe French, Paris-based Batman of Muslim persuasion whose recent introduction to the fictional DC Comics superhero universe inspired ferocious aggravation among some real-life right-wing, racist bloggers.
Already compromised from more than a decade’s worth of desperately fraudulent and cynical political cycles, unspeakably violent, wholly invented wars and ceaseless psychic attacks in the form a duplicitous media fueled by ruinous prophets masked as journalists and a relentless celebration of the depravity and wastefulness of the nouveau riche, the structural integrity of western culture had no chance of withstanding a new reality in which these two things are irrevocably true: there are people who are genuinely furious that there is a fictional Muslim person running around a fictional version of Paris wearing the grim mantle of the greatest fictional superhero, and there is a real-life person who makes a living as a “professional Batmanologist.”Society’s collapse was foreshadowed in December when we were alerted to the particularly ugly remarks of right-wing bloggers like Warner Todd Houston against Nightrunner, a new member of Bruce Wayne’s Batman, Inc. initiative, whereby the fictional billionaire franchises Batmen to many of the world’s major cities. Houston and his comrades believed that Nightrunner — fictional real name Billai Asseiah — was an illegitimate fictional protector of Paris on account of the fictional facts that he is of Algerian Arab descent and a Muslim. To Houston and his reptilian kind, such a fictional man is by definition unsuitable for the job of being a fictional superhero because the fictional child of fictional Arab immigrants is not a proper Frenchman and Muslims are congenitally evil.
DC Comics has decided that the “French savior,” the French Batman is to be a Muslim immigrant. The character’s name is Bilal Asselah and he is an Algerian Sunni Muslim and an immigrant… Apparently Batman couldn’t find any actual Frenchman to be the “French savior.”
…it is pretty condescending to France, too. France is a proud nation. Yet DC Comics has made a foreigner the “French savior.” This will not sit well with many Frenchmen, for sure.
Houston’s abominable chorus was joined by right-winger Avi Green, who wondered whether the fictional Muslim Batman would “bring justice to the streets by setting disabled women on fire,” among other similarly cretinous thoughts.
Naturally, ComicsAlliance published a brutal and passionate take-down of those bigots and their hopelessly stupid views, asserting the inherent idealism and progressive nature of the superhero genre, as we’d done with the hilarious white supremacist meltdown over the casting of The Wire’s Idris Elba as a Norse deity in Kenneth Branagh’s adaptation of Thor and the Islamophobic media’s paranoid condemnation of The 99 (a painfully benign, multicultural children’s superhero cartoon inspired by Islamic myth).
The article, “Racists Totally Freak Out Over Muslim Batman of Paris,” quickly became one of our most popular posts, earning more than 150 thousand page views, a prominent feature at Google News, copious linking at Digg and other aggregators and thousands of “Likes” on Facebook. As the author of the piece, I was interviewed by The National, the English language newspaper of the United Arab Emirates, about comic books and the American media’s perception and treatment of Muslim people and themes. Finally, as the culmination of years of work writing humorous Batman essays and truly earning the title of “professional Batmanologist,” our own Chris Sims was invited to speak to the nation’s most influential current events, humor and culture resource, The Daily Show, itself a self-confessed fake news show.
Unfortunately, as I said, our Muslim Batman piece was written at approximately 11:59 on the Doomsday Clock of western culture, and we received a massive shipment of Haterade from the trolls of America who walk among us now freely and without fear. “A good muslim does not exist… except when they have blown themselves to hell!” was one of several very nasty real-life responses we received to our advocacy of a fictional superhero. Here are some other comments from real-life human beings with whom we share this planet’s precious natural resources, unedited except for cases of NSFW language:
Some responses to “Racists Totally Freak Out Over Muslim Batman of Paris”:
— so, he rob and kill, as any average mudlsim in france?
— Having the “French Batman” be a towlhead who moved to france is about as offensive as having the American [insert hero name] be an illegal immigrant from mexico
— Muslims are nothing to look up to. Being a submisive woman or a terrorist is hardly a role model. I live in Auburn Maine where we have a large segment of Somalians, 90% are on welfare, they are rude, un-curtious drivers, and all around aweful people. I hope this Muslim spiderman will force this company out of business due to the offense that is sure to come from turning losers into superhero’s.
–That people in France no longer feel any real need to procreate, has created a situation where more white people in every European country are dying than being born. Thus, they bring in low-skilled rabble from North Africa and Western Asia, who fill the housing estates, oppress the local population by blocking entire streets for their disgusting rallies. If anything, representatives of this community should be the villains in a comic book.
Some responses to “Racists Totally Freakout Over Idris Elba Playing Norse God in ‘Thor'”:
— It does look funny to see a n*gger in there 😉
— 100 white women are violently raped by black men EVERY DAY here in
America. Who hates who?
Most impressively, I received via my personal Facebook account the following message from a human being called Sergio E. Redigolo Gusella of New York City:
hey what’s up you f*cking piece of sh*t, it isn’t racist to speak the truth, unlike you who is calling the norse gods “a bunch of drunks”
I hope you will defend anybody who makes a movie that stars Brad Pitt as Malcolm X..
I wonder what the black reaction would be to that..
That’s what piss me off from f*cks like you, people like you are the reason the white race and culture are deteriorating, the white blood of the world have built the most civilized cultures in history and gave most of the world’s progress..
I just hope you will have a daughter and she will marry a member of the bloods gang and have a bunch of half bread gang member children.. you f*cking minority lover white hater”
ps:always remember this, most crimes in this world (not all) are caused by the so called minorities, also for most part, those minorities live like dogs.
One of our first instincts is to laugh at the outrageous horribleness of remarks like these — a paradox that increasingly defined our society as it pranced spastically over the precipice of oblivion — but they’re also a grim reminder that these people still exist in the 21st century. That subjects as innocuous as Idris Elba portraying the medieval fever dream that is Heimdall or a culturally inclusive version of Batman (who’s appeared in only two comic books) prompt these Morlocks to crawl out from the sewers and protest superhero fiction’s slow progression into the future says something about the pervasiveness of bigotry in the United States, the new ascendency of comic books’ influence in our culture, or both.
The Daily Show had its fun with Bosch Fawstin, creator of the silly anti-islamist superhero Pigman, and we’ve had our fun with the Grand Dragons of the Council of Conservative Citizens, but the fact is that the people who wrote those hateful comments are not that funny. They take the time to visit this site, they write us personal correspondence, and they do so every time we mention ethnicity — on a comic book site, where we write about fictional superheroes like they were real people; where we pay artists to draw those superheroes repeating things said by Charlie Sheen; and where we spend a lot of time and money interviewing and photographing people who have sex while dressed up like those superheroes (stay tuned!).
Right now someone is being paid to warn us of the dangers of a fictional Muslim dressed up like a Bat. Chris Sims is on television talking about Batman. ComicsAlliance is the most popular comic book website in the United States. It’s 12:01.