The best thing about bootleg toys is how hilarious the knockoff versions often are, and this alternate Batman origin story from the back of an unapproved Batman toy is no exception -- it may even be the new definition of the rule. It basically reads like a Babelfish translation of "Batman Begins," until about two-thirds of the way through when it takes a left turn so hard that it actually leaves DC Comics. Check it:

"When being a child, Bruce Wayne had witnessed with his own eyes the fact his parents of millionaire were killed cruelly, so affected his strong desire of revenging his parents. However, God had never given him a chance to fulfill his weill, following the advice of R'as Al-Ghul, the chief of ninja group, Bruce come to Gete, which was a corrupted city filled with various crime groups. Bruce found a basement under his villa, in which the equipments turn him into another person: Spiderman. With this mask, Spiderman stroke all criminal activates and criminals everywhere, such as Tougon, the chief of Mafia, Doctor Jackstraw, the abnormal drug trafficker, even a mysterious opponent familiar with him---------"

While Batman actually turning into Spider-Man is an interesting detour from canon, I'm most intrigued by Tougon, the chief of Mafia and Doctor Jackstraw, the abnormal drug trafficker. Who are these mysterious villains? Tell me more, crazy Batman box!

[via Occasional Superheroine]