DARPA Launches Projects “BaTMAN” and “RoBIN” (And Suggestions On What To Do Next)
As reported by io9, the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (the government agency responsible for developing the red lasers that keep us safe from the forces of COBRA even today) has recently launched two projects: “Biochronicity and Temporal Mechanisms Arising in Nature” and “Robustness of Biologically-Inspired Networks.” Or, to use DARPA’s own abbreviations, Projects BaTMAN and RoBIN.
In an ideal world, this would just be the first step in the government’s Gotham City Initiative, creating a whole slew of projects named after Batman’s supporting characters with the goal of creating a more Batmanly world. And I’ve got some suggestions for just what they could do.
Project BATcAvE: Biological Adaptation to Tactically Advantageous Environments
Purpose: Advanced training and equipment designed to function properly in naturally occurring caverns beneath stately manors.
Proposed budget: $2.8 billion
Project JoKER: Jocular Kinesthesia with Expressive Respiration
Project ALFrED: Advanced Laconic Formal Engagement Drone
Purpose: To create an independent robot capable of acting as medic, chef, and gentleman’s personal gentleman.
Proposed budget: $4.3 billion.
Project COMMISSIONERGORDON: Criminal Organization Management and Mediation Involving Several Semi-Illegal Operatives Nocturnally Engaging Racketeers, Gunmen and Others Reporting to Deputized Official Noncombatants
Proposed budget: $3.1 billion
You can just go ahead and make the checks payable to “ComicsAlliance.”