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End Of The Week Explosion

Image of an explosionSo I’m starting this new feature where we briefly go over some of the top stories from the previous week. Instead of just talking to myself, I want to bring in an expert witness to discuss the ups and downs of what’s happening in the world of comics. So please give a big welcome to our buddy and the angriest super-fan on the planet – Seacord.

Here we go!

Ian: So I heard you heckling a few times during Spider-Man last night. Real quick (and without giving away any spoilers) what was the best part of the movie and what was the worst?

Seacord: Best part of the movie is the Peter Parker/West Side Story/Once Bitten dance number. The fact that “evil” Peter just combs his hair down is reminiscent of Superman III (except no Richard Pryor and no alcohol) Worst part – the realization that after three movies just now you realize that Topher Grace would have been about a thousand times better than Seabiscuit in the parker role.

Ian: Speaking of movies, you wanna back me up on how bad the Punisher movie is?

Seacord: The only redeeming thing to come from that movie was the video game. What kid gives their dad a shirt with a skull on it unless you live in a double wide? This only goes on the list of John Travolta movies I can’t stand right up there with Battlefield Earth. I tried to find something positive to say about it just to give you a hard time but the only way this could have been a good movie is if Frank Castle showed up in Spidey 3 and put an end to all the singing and crying (or at least caused some…I mean crying but if he caused some singing I’d take that too).

Ian: So I take it you saw the story about the guy in the Captain America suit with the burrito in his pants (found out it was from Taco Bell BTW) who got arrested in Florida for groping women and then got arrested again for having weed in his pants along with the burrito (which now that I think about it is kinda genius because after you get high from the drugs in your pants, you’ve got a snack right there. Med school pays off I guess…) Wait I forgot what we were talking about….

Oh yeah – so I know that you were a bouncer in a bar for a while…did you ever have to toss somebody out who was wearing a superhero costume? If not, give us a good story about a bad patron.

Seacord: I used to work at a bar that had a swinger’s night every Friday. The thing is that once a month they would have costume parties…OK that starts off all well and good, everyone’s fantasy right? Now picture your mom and dad dressed up as Wonder Woman or Keira Knightly from “Pirates of the Caribbean”. Yeah, not so hot anymore huh? It’s always a shame to see a grown man dressed as the tooth fairy cry as you have to throw him out of the bar (which was underneath a hotel) while his wife is going upstairs with some guy in chaps with the ass cut out…that’s pretty much rock bottom and I can guarantee you Captain America has nothing on these folks….

Ian: How stoked are you for World War Hulk?

Seacord: After Civil War fans need something like this. I predict World War Hulk will be the best storyline of the year – if not the next 18 months or so….

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