10 of the Weirdest Erotic Superhero Fan Art Pictures
One of the Rules of the Internet -- #34, specifically -- states that if it exists, there is porn of it. Whether you're thinking of "Mythbusters," the "I Ching," or even the geography of the planet Earth itself, rest assured that someone out there has spent untold time and effort into making a dirty version and uploading it to DeviantArt.
Even so, comic books are a more popular subject for erotic fan-art than most, which probably has a lot to do with the fact that they're already about pretty, well-built people running around in skintight outfits and engaging in vigorous physical activity. As anyone who has ever typed the name of any super-hero into Google Images with SafeSearch turned off, it's pretty much unavoidable. But today, I'm facing erotic fan-art head-on -- presumably because I haven't been subjected to anything truly soul-scarring since ComicsAlliance sent me to review "Marmaduke" -- by bringing you my thoughts on ten pieces of allegedly erotic fan-art!
Safe-For-Work Description: During the events of "The Dark Knight," Batman makes time with his lady-friend, Assistant DA Rachel Dawes.
Notes: I could easily spend an entire article on just the Batman stuff, but what gets me about this one is how incredibly specific it is in its faithful reproduction of Maggie Gyllenhall looking kind of bored at getting felt up by a glowering Batman. Also, congratulations: You're now thinking about what talking dirty would sound like in Christian Bale's Batman voice. "SWEAR TO ME!!!" indeed.
Safe-For-Work Description: Superman and Batman try out some new costumes.
Notes: While these costumes are certainly guaranteed to strike fear into the heart of at least a portion of the criminal element, there's two things here that really bother me: 1) I guess there's a place that Batman could keep his equipment in lieu of a bulky utility belt, but I really don't want to know what it is, and 2) that soul patch totally makes you look like a douchebag, Superman.
Safe-For-Work Description: Wonder Woman goes about her business under the watchful eye of the Justice League.
Notes: I'm willing to come right out and say that this is unquestionably the best drawing of Wonder Woman on the toilet ever produced. Seriously, it's really well-drawn: Well-done perspective, nice use of contrast, good facial expressions, everything about it's great. You know, except for the part where it's a drawing of the Justice League watching Wonder Woman on the toilet.
Safe-For-Work Description: Doc Samson evaluates Alpha Flight's Puck.
Notes: On Earth-7125, Northstar's revelation about his sexuality didn't really shock any of his teammates.
Safe-For-Work Description: Batwoman deals out a harsh brand of justice to one of Gotham City's notorious criminals.
Notes: Look, not to be That Guy or anything, but by the time Batwoman made her first appearance, Catwoman was no longer wearing that costume. If you're not going to make an effort to get the timeline right, I'm afraid I won't be able to take your fetish art seriously.
Safe-For-Work Description: Captain America stumbles on M.O.D.O.K.'s sinister plan.
Notes: This is another one that's actually really well-done, but with all that's going on in it, I keep finding myself drawn to the fact that Cap has a framed picture of Nick Fury that he hung directly across from his bedroom. Then again, that might be because every time my eyes start to move towards the center of the picture, my brain revolts and I wake up half an hour later with a nosebleed.
Safe-For-Work Description: Mary Jane Watson and Gwen Stacy are friends.
Notes: Peter's absolute horror seems a little unwarranted here. Just sayin'.
Safe-For-Work Description: Reed and Sue Richards are enjoying their marriage.
Notes: I know it seems like an awfully big censor bar, but believe me: That's literally the most I can show without getting fired.
Safe-For-Work Description: Krang from "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" meets Mary Jane Watson, and neither one is wearing their usual outfit.
Notes: Seeing as he's from Dimension X, one assumes that Krang is completely unfamiliar with what is and isn't socially acceptable here on Earth, and thus his hugs are going to get a little awkward.
Safe-For-Work Description: There's really no way around it: This one's Ivan Vanko and Justin Hammer just cold gettin' it on.
Notes: You know why Hammer leaves his tie on? Because Sam Rockwell is classy as hell, that's why.
There's certainly more erotic fan-art out there -- including some that I'll never be able to unsee -- but I think that's enough for now. Or ever.