I consider myself to be a relatively reasonable adult, but if I'm honest with you, there's definitely a list of fictional characters that I hate as though they were real people. As irrational as it may be, there's just this intense level of pure, all-consuming hatred that I feel whenever they come up -- and right at the top of the list, next to Lucy Lane and Funky Winkerbean's Les Moore, is that rotten little plutocrat Richie Rich. I cannot even begin to explain how much I hate that kid.

As a result, I've been in a sour mood since yesterday, when Netflix announced a new live-action Richie Rich series, starring Jake Brennan as the title trillionaire.

To be fair, the series seems like it's already taking steps to blunt my white-hot rage over the existence of that towheaded oligarch, recasting Richie as the self-made inventor of what the press release describes as "cool new green technology" rather than the product of inherited wealth, so at least there's that.

According to the press release, the Netflix version of Richie Rich is slated for 21 episodes, with Joshua Carlon, Jenna Ortega, Lauren Taylor, Kiff VandenHeuvel, and Brooke Wexler rounding out the cast. It'll be produced by the same person who brought you Smallville, so there's that.

Judging by the brief description of the press release, the show will focus on Richie Rich having the sort of adventures that one could have with limitless wealth, rather than following the comics, which tended to show the despicable little capitalist and his cankles engaging in grotesque displays of wealth, like, say, BUILDING A GOLDEN, JEWEL-ENCRUSTED DOGHOUSE...

 

 

Or LITERALLY THROWING MONEY INTO THE GUTTER SO THAT HIS GIRLFRIEND COULD WALK ON IT.

 

 

You wouldn't want to ruin Gloria's shoes, would you, you little -- oh I hate him, I hate him so much.

Richie Rich will debut on Netflix early next year. The character was created by Alfred Harvey and Warren Kremer for Harvey Comics.