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The Worst Sex Scene in Comics

Jamie Delano’s “Rawbone” — a recent four-issue series from Avatar that, from what we can tell, is entirely about pirates raping each other until they die — is not very good. In fact, it’s been referred to as “frankly, f—ing disgusting and completely insane,” and considering that diagnosis came from Warren Ellis himself, that’s saying something.

It is, however, pretty notable for its dialogue. Delano’s wording in the series is so ridiculously over-the-top that if it wasn’t for the pages upon pages of pirate rape, the book would qualify as one of the best comedies of the year. Need some proof? Just have a look at this page from #3, which includes the worst description of sex that we have ever read:

Even putting aside the fact that referring to your lover as a “throbbing fish” isn’t exactly going to spur him to new heights of passion under the best of circumstances, we were struck by how alarmingly specific to piracy the metaphors are, and wondered how it might have gone down if Billy and La Sirena had gone into other occupations.

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