Overheard in a Comic Shop Contest Winner (With Exclusive Cartoon!)
On Friday, ComicsAlliance asked you to send us the most funny, sad, offensive, brilliant, and/or depraved things you’ve ever heard in a comic book store inspired by the hilarious and addictive Our Valued Customers, and you came through in a big way. It wasn’t easy, but we’ve chosen the winner of our little contest, ComicsAlliance reader Evin. Not only will he get a free copy of Icons: The DC Comics and WildStorm Art of Jim Lee (e-mail us, Evin!), but we’ve got special surprise for the winner: an exclusive comic made from the winning entry by Our Valued Customers creator MRTIM.
While a group of people were having a Yu-Gi-Oh tournament…
Like we said, choosing a winner from so many worthy entries was not easy, so we’ve spotlighted some honorable mentions after the jump. Thanks to everybody for playing, and special thanks to MRTIM for his generous participation.
Submitted by Yves S:
*This was said in all seriousness to me by someone browsing comics when I managed a store*
Customer: I know Wolverine’s real name.
Me: Yeah, it’s Logan.
Customer: I know where he lives too… and his blood type, because I deliver the paper to him every morning.
Submitted by Michael:
A guy walked into my local shop and told the clerk that he had really been getting into science lately. He added that he loved the band Dragonforce. He particularly appreciated them because “as a scientist” he found that they were the only musicians who could “truly pwn the negative space with each note”. Definitely said “pwn” and not “own.” He then dashed out of the door as if he was only there to make that statement.
Submitted by Dave:
A woman in her 30s comes in and starts asking about Yu-Gi-Oh for her son. We show her what we’ve got, and then: “There’s nothing bad in here, is there? I don’t want to expose my son to anything scary.” “There actually is a lot of traditional fantasy stuff—monsters, dragons, that sort of thing.” “Are there any cards with black holes? My son doesn’t like black holes”
To this day, I still occasionally wonder if there was some terrifying subtext or Freudian basis for this conversation that I missed at the time.
Submitted by Jeff:
I was browsing over the week’s newest releases, mostly just focusing on any and all Batman titles. The bells for the entryway chimed to signal the owners there was a new customer and sure enough it was a woman who strolled in. She seemed just the sort to be in a place like this and of college age. This prompted the gentleman working at the counter to disappear into the back for about 30 seconds.
She started to roam around when he reappeared from the back with a hat that had the Batman logo on it. He had also changed his shirt too (Yes. Really.)..A Heath Ledger “Joker” shirt that was said “Why so serious?”
He eventually worked up the courage to move over to her as she was eyeing the section of Batman trades and asked, “So, you like Batman?”
Submitted by Bicycle PhD:
Walking in with my wife we hear “girl alert girl alert watwatwat girl alert girl alert.”
Submitted by Galaxy Junkyard:
Question to employee from a guy holding a Stan Lee presents comic: “Who the hell is Stan Lee?”
Employee: “Get out.”
Submitted by Ouranosaurus:
The store owner started getting on a guy’s case because he was just standing there reading the new comics and putting them back. His reply (paraphrased): “But if I don’t read them all the way through, how will I know which ones I want to buy?”
Submitted by Kelley:
“The Silver Surfer is not going to kill you, Luke.”
My LCS has a SS statue that apparently frightened a young boy. So much so that he was screaming and begging his father not to go inside.
Submitted by BeautyOfDisaster:
My all-time favorite was the three large women that walked in carrying a Coors Lite box overflowing with some of the most terrible, holofoil, limited edition crimes of the 1990’s. After asking the owner to appraise the box, he took the time to look at every one of them and politely explained why he couldn’t give her more than 10 dollars for the lot of them. This prompted all three of them to start screaming about how this was bulls**t. This is a number one, this has a hologram, this was a limited edition, and so on. The owner pointed to the rows of 25 cent comics and said that all the comics in the box could be found in there and most likely he’d never sell any of her “valuable” comics. She told us that her ex told her they were all very valuable and the owner was a POS thief. She proceeded to throw an open box of Magic cards at him and kicked the upright display. With everyone in the shop frozen in shock she swept the new comics off the display shelf and gave him the finger as they walked out the door. Thirty seconds later she walked back in and grabbed the box without a word or making eye contact.
As everyone helped pick everything up he told us that it wasn’t a big deal and it generally happens a couple times a year.