The Comics Alliance Halloween Costume Countdown: The Obscurities
Halloween is just around the corner, and here at ComicsAlliance, and one of the best parts of the month is gearing up for a night of costumes! It’s the one time of year when even people like me who could never cut it in our Best Cosplay Ever feature can drop by the local department store and walk out with the ability to dress up as our favorite characters.
But is that really a good thing? I have my doubts, which is why I’m spending every day taking on the store-bought costumes inspired by our favorite things. Today, we’re having a look at a few of the more obscure selections, because tomorrow’s Halloween and everyone’s going to be sold out of Batman costumes by now.
Option 1: Sexy Green Hornet
So hey, remember how there was a Green Hornet movie that nobody actually liked except me? Well, apparently somebody managed to get a Halloween costume license out of it and decided that Sexy Seth Rogen would be something people would want to dress as. I’m going to go ahead and guess that they were wrong, and that it’s not really a necktie if it starts below the breasts.
Option 2: The Spirit
Further proving that not everybody gets to be The Avengers, we have this sad relic of The Spirit, a movie written and directed by Frank Miller in what I can only assume was an attempt to prove that there was no light and happiness left in this cruel world. I saw it in a theater on Christmas Day with a group of friends that I don’t speak to anymore because we can only remind ourselves of Samuel L. Jackson watching a foot with a head on it bounce around a table for five minutes.
So, you know, if that’s what you’re going for on Halloween, this might actually be a good costume, but I tend to favor spooky scares than, you know, existential loss.
Option 3: Jor-El
Admittedly, Man of Steel was more “best forgotten” than “actually obscure,” but Jor-El and his weird crustacean bone armor are certainly one of the more forgettable parts of the film. How forgettable? So forgettable that this is the official product description:
Adult Costumes – This Deluxe Mens Jor-El costume from the Superman movie includes the muscle chest jumpsuit with attached boot tops, the cape, and the molded belt. This costume would go great with a Faora Costume for a fun couples costume look! Jor-El is Superman’s father.
Putting aside that a Jor-El/Faora couple would be a strained relationship at best, it’s worth noting that when you have to bluntly explain who this person is in the last sentence of your description, you should probably just go ahead and make more General Zods.
Option 4: Jonah Hex Kids Mask
Remember how there was a Jonah Hex movie starring Josh Brolin and absolutely no one liked it? Well, here’s a look at the alternate universe where it was something that people wanted to pay money to let their children recreate. I cannot imagine anyone actually buying this, but I guess there’s probably someone out there who was really stoked about getting the final piece to their Hideously Deformed David Duchovny costume.