Contact Us

Hello Kitty Is Not A Cat, Everything You Know Is A Lie

Hello Kitty art by Jacob Chabot

 

If you’re not already, you may want to sit down, and if you’re already sitting down, you may want to go ahead and clear off a spot on the floor so that you can lay there and stare into space thinking about how everything you have been told in your life has been rooted in lies and deception. Are you sitting? Good.

So it turns out Hello Kitty is not actually a cat.

Lest you think we’re making this up, this shocking revelation that undermines the very fabric of everything we believe comes straight from the source. As revealed today at LAist, the Sanrio company responded to Christine R. Yano’s description of Kitty, written as part of an upcoming exhibit that she’s curating for the Japanese American National Museum, with one stern correction, assuring her that Hello Kitty is not a cat.

Nothing is true.

According to Yano, they were very clear on this point:

“I was corrected — very firmly,” Yano said. “That’s one correction Sanrio made for my script for the show. Hello Kitty is not a cat. She’s a cartoon character. She is a little girl. She is a friend. But she is not a cat. She’s never depicted on all fours. She walks and sits like a two-legged creature. She does have a pet cat of her own, however, and it’s called Charmmy Kitty.”

One assumes that the same applies to Kitty’s twin sister, her mother and father, and her boyfriend Dear Daniel, who must all be reclassified as mysterious, non-cat creatures with no fingers or mouths with which to grasp or scream.

As disconcerting as this piece of information is, I do appreciate that they’re actually drawing a distinction between Kitty and Charmmy. The fact that Kitty, who I always assumed was a cat, actuallyowned a cat herself was one of the single weirdest things about the entire franchise, so having a clear distinction — even one as vague and somewhat terrifying as “she walks like a human but is something else, something unknowable that wants to be your friend” — clears things up.

If nothing else, Kitty not being a cat goes a long way towards explaining why you see her around so many boats, even if there’s a lot about her journey to the far side of the universe with Noah (you know, from the Bible) that remains unexplained:

 

Hello Kitty theme park description

Best of the Web

More From Around the Web

Leave a Comment

It appears that you already have an account created within our VIP network of sites on . To keep your points and personal information safe, we need to verify that it's really you. To activate your account, please confirm your password. When you have confirmed your password, you will be able to log in through Facebook on both sites.

Forgot your password?

*Please note that your points, prizes and activities will not be shared between programs within our VIP network.

It appears that you already have an account on this site associated with . To connect your existing account with your Facebook account, just click on the account activation button below. You will maintain your existing profile and VIP program points. After you do this, you will be able to always log in to http://comicsalliance.com using your Facebook account.

*Please note that your points, prizes and activities will not be shared between programs within our VIP network.

Please fill out the information below to help us provide you a better experience.

Register on Comics Alliance quickly by logging in with your Facebook account. It's just as secure, and no password to remember!

Not a Member? Sign Up Here

Please solve this simple math problem to prove that you are a real person.

Register on Comics Alliance quickly by logging in with your Facebook account. It's just as secure, and no password to remember!