For those of you who don't obsess over third-tier Sanrio characters, here's the best way I can think of to describe it: Hello Kitty is like Superman. She's the most iconic and tenured character on the roster, a worldwide symbol who's synonymous with both the company and an entire genre, which in her case would be cute, incredibly marketable corporate mascots. But just as DC doesn't end with Superman, Sanrio has a whole roster of other characters, deep cuts that occasionally get really, really weird. And this week, they have added a new one to the roster.
Her name is Taburerona, and she is essentially an overmotional iPad who works as a tour guide and wants you to buy Sanrio's new line of 8-Bit Hello Kitty merchandise.
In case you haven't been keeping up on the anniversary celebrations of your favorite Japanese cuteness icons, this year marks the 40th anniversary of Hello Kitty. To celebrate the occasion, Sanrio -- which has recently been pretty cagey about whether or not Hello Kitty is actually a cat -- put out a hardcover featuring artists from all over the world, with comics celebrating 40 years of adorability.
One such creator was Karl Kerschl, the artist of the upcoming Gotham Academy, who contributed a sci-fi-inspired three-page strip that is absolutely delightful. There's just one problem: The third page was rejected by Sanrio for implying that Hello Kitty is actually a cat.
This week the world was rocked by the reveal that Hello Kitty, global icon of cuteness, was not a cat. After being revealed during Sanrio's corrections of a museum exhibit celebrating Kitty's 40th anniversary, the news quickly went global, shocking the world and causing people to question everything they had ever been taught, abandoning the laws of God and man in order to tear down a society built entirely on lies.
Well, it turns out that the hours we spent laying on the floor questioning our own existence might've been a little premature. Following up on that initial correction, Kotaku got in touch with Sanrio's Tokyo headquarters, whereupon they were informed that "It's going too far to say that Hello Kitty is not a cat. Hello Kitty is the personification of a cat."
So.. that should clear everything up. Except for the part where Kitty definitely still owns a cat of her own, I mean. That's still weird as all heck.
If you're not already, you may want to sit down, and if you're already sitting down, you may want to go ahead and clear off a spot on the floor so that you can lay there and stare into space thinking about how everything you have been told in your life has been rooted in lies and deception. Are you sitting? Good.
So it turns out Hello Kitty is not actually a cat.
In the world of superhero comics, we're most certainly no strangers to so-called "good guys" going bad, but at long last, even we have to wonder: Is no one immune to the siren call of supervillainy?! Is there no one so wholly devote to the cause of good that evil cannot sink its cruel talons into their soul?! Can any wholesome cuteness triumph over the wicked inclinations of life as an arch-criminal?!
It seems it cannot, because now, Hello Kitty has become a supervillain. Or at least, she's dressing like one in the latest licensing collaboration between Sanrio and DC Comics, which features everyone's favorite icon of cuteness cosplaying as a trio of Batman villainesses.
Most cats are afraid of water, but it appears Sanrio's Hello Kitty is a straight up sea captain on Star Cruises' specially-themed voyages departing from Singapore and Malaysia. While this news post would almost certainly have made a solid Holiday Gift Guide entry, we doubt many of you will be able to set sail aboard the SuperStar Virgo or the SuperStar Libra (...I had no idea cruise ships had such awesome names). Still, we must insist on detailing all of the fun most of us will surely miss out on while the cruises run through December 29.
According to a new licensing announcement, DC Comics will soon be teaming up with Sanrio for a new collection of merchandise featuring Hello Kitty suiting up as DC's finest, including Wonder Woman, Superman and Batman.
DVD: The original 1974 Wonder Woman TV pilot starring Cathy Lee Crosby and Superboy: The Complete Second Season are now on DVD. Reminder: Season 2 is when Superboy fights Dracula in space.
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