This week the world was rocked by the reveal that Hello Kitty, global icon of cuteness, was not a cat. After being revealed during Sanrio's corrections of a museum exhibit celebrating Kitty's 40th anniversary, the news quickly went global, shocking the world and causing people to question everything they had ever been taught, abandoning the laws of God and man in order to tear down a society built entirely on lies.
Well, it turns out that the hours we spent laying on the floor questioning our own existence might've been a little premature. Following up on that initial correction, Kotaku got in touch with Sanrio's Tokyo headquarters, whereupon they were informed that "It's going too far to say that Hello Kitty is not a cat. Hello Kitty is the personification of a cat."
So.. that should clear everything up. Except for the part where Kitty definitely still owns a cat of her own, I mean. That's still weird as all heck.
If you're not already, you may want to sit down, and if you're already sitting down, you may want to go ahead and clear off a spot on the floor so that you can lay there and stare into space thinking about how everything you have been told in your life has been rooted in lies and deception. Are you sitting? Good.
So it turns out Hello Kitty is not actually a cat.
Comic-Con International in San Diego is nothing if not a great excuse to buy things that you can't get anywhere else, and folks, I am no more immune to the siren song of consumerism than anyone else. For me, my particular vice comes in the form of action figures -- specifically the Tamashii Nations S.H. Figuarts line of high-end Japanese action figures. At their booth last weekend, they had not only all five of the Inner Senshi from Sailor Moon, but they also had that giant Hello Kitty that Hello Kitty herself pilots so that she can fly around and battle against giant monsters, aka the single greatest thing that has ever been produced by the hands of man.
Obviously, I had to buy it all. So to justify my expense (and for tax purposes), join us on a journey to the floor of San Diego and find out just how much money I spent on toys. The answer will not shock you, but it may give you the impression that I should never have been trusted with a debit card.
In the world of superhero comics, we're most certainly no strangers to so-called "good guys" going bad, but at long last, even we have to wonder: Is no one immune to the siren call of supervillainy?! Is there no one so wholly devote to the cause of good that evil cannot sink its cruel talons into their soul?! Can any wholesome cuteness triumph over the wicked inclinations of life as an arch-criminal?!
It seems it cannot, because now, Hello Kitty has become a supervillain. Or at least, she's dressing like one in the latest licensing collaboration between Sanrio and DC Comics, which features everyone's favorite icon of cuteness cosplaying as a trio of Batman villainesses.
In her 40 years as a global icon, Hello Kitty has been involved in some pretty strange business ventures. That's probably why her reach in the market goes far beyond just stuffed animals and pencil cases and into stuff like a rocket fist-firing robot, that toaster that burns her face into your bread and the theme park attraction where she leads Noah (of Ark-building fame) back from "the far edge of the galaxy" in a parade of animals. This week, though, her latest business venture was announced, and it's teaming up with New Japan Pro Wrestling for a line of merchandise.
It seems the world is finally reshaping itself according to what I want. Check out the t-shirts below!
Valentine's Day is upon us once again, which means that tomorrow, we are all legally required to give the people we love little pieces of paper that sum up exactly how we feel about them, in tribute to a Catholic saint who was clubbed to death and beheaded. Truly, it is the most romantic of all times.
But for superhero fans, it does present a problem. Obviously, we all want to express our devotion to romantic partners while also expressing our devotion to our favorite characters, but are any of the superhero valentines that you can find in stores across the country actually good? If you pick up the Batman valentines at your local Target, will your love life be soaring to new heights above Gotham City, or will it be gunned down in an alley leaving you alone to wage war on crime? It's a daunting task, which is why every year, I take the hit for you to find out if there are any good store-bought superhero valentines.
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