It's a sad truth about this world of ours, but our freedom is constantly under attack by Cobra Commander and his sinister army of snake-themed soldiers. I mean, no, it's not as bad as it was in the mid-80s, when you couldn't even chew gum, get a hamburger or listen to the latest Cold Slither record without finding yourself under assault by Night Creepers and Alley Vipers, but the threat is still out there, chipping away at our safety in the most unexpected ways.
Take, for example, the Commander's latest sinister plot: Taking over America two feet at a time alongside New Balance and BAIT, collaborating with Hasbro for a limited edition set of sneakers decked out with a snakeskin pattern in Cobra's traditional colors.
If you were just going by what was on the covers when you grabbed your Free Comic Book Day titles on Saturday, you might have missed one of the best comics on the stands. I almost did --- as much as I've been enjoying IDW's Transformers comics now that I'm finally reading them, I haven't had much of a chance to watch the new cartoon, and as a result, I skipped over the FCBD tie-in comic when I picked mine up.
It wasn't until I flipped through it later that I realized there was a short story from Tom Scioli and John Barber in there, tying into their GI Joe vs. Transformers ongoing series. And it's amazing.
Okay everybody, time to panic: According to GeneralsJoes.com, the Mayor of Springfield, Illinois has given Cobra Commander the Key to the City, effectively handing over control of Abraham Lincoln's hometown to the same organization responsible for attempting to destroy the Aurora Borealis with an Ion Attractor, attack our nation's military with cloned dinosaurs, and steal the state of Alaska from the federal government.
Q: What '80s or '90s cartoon do you think has the single best Christmas episode? -- @UncannyJay
A: Given the things I tend to write about in this column, it pretty much goes without saying that I absolutely love cartoon Christmas specials. I even wrote about a few of my favorites last year for ComicsAlliance, including the truly bizarre Christmas Comes to Pac-Land, in which a visit from Santa Claus makes it abundantly clear that Pac-Man's living nightmare of eating dots and being menaced by the vengeful spirits of the damned occurs on some kind of demi-plane that exists outside of the sight of God. That one has to be in my top three.
But beyond those three, there's definitely one Christmas episode in particular that I absolutely love: G.I. Joe's "Cobra Claws Are Coming To Town!"
When Paul Allor's "secret history of Cobra" story was first announced by G.I. Joe comics publisher IDW, I immediately took notice. The idea of a long history for Cobra that would see ninja and pirate versions of Cobra Commander was something so amazing that I was shocked it had never been done before. It turned out, however, that this long history was only a part of what Allor would get to do, moving from that complicated secret history into a lean, thrilling adventure for the G.I Joe team.
Now, with Allor's run alongside artists Steve Kurth, Alex Cal, S.L. Gallant, Shawn Lee, Robert Atkins and Chris Evenhuis being collected this week in a paperback called G.I. Joe: Siren Song, we spoke to Allor to find out about how much of Cobra Commander's secret history was true, why he built the story around a mother trying to save her child, and just what it was about Big Boa that needed a comeback.
The idea of one's toys coming to life at night is a charming and utterly horrifying staple of children's stories, but here's the thing. If you're a kid who has action figures, then you don't just have spacemen and cowboys -- you have a lot of bad guys. The good guys need someone to fight, after all, so chances are pretty good that your toybox is going to be full of at least a few megalomaniacal snake-themed terrorists and probably a lot of thematic serial killers too. So what happens when they come to life? As it turns out, writer/director Paul Constantakis has the answer in a short film called Villainous.
2009's G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra was a resoundingly stupid movie, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't kind of love it. I'll readily admit that I'm a sucker for anything that could be classified as "Destro-related media," but every inexplicable, awful piece of that movie combined into something that was at least inoffensive. It was
Critics who thought the Veronica Mars Kickstarter campaign didn't live up to the site's spirit of funding unlikely-to-be-financed projects from otherwise unknown creators are in for an even bigger shock. If they thought Hollywood insiders using the site was bad, wait until they get a load of the new campaign from international super-terroris
Over a lifetime of reading comics, Senior Writer Chris Sims has developed an inexhaustible arsenal of facts and opinions. That's why each and every week, we turn to you, to put his comics culture knowledge to the test as he responds to your reader questions!
Q: How would Cobra Commander fare in the presidential debates? -- @Maxy_Barnard
I think we can all agree that Paramount's decision to delay the opening of of G.I. Joe: Retaliation by nine months is the single worst thing that has ever happened in human history. To deny us the joy of seeing the Rock and Bruce
It appears that you already have an account created within our VIP network of sites on .
To keep your personal information safe, we need to verify that it's really you.
To activate your account, please confirm your password.
When you have confirmed your password, you will be able to log in through Facebook on both sites.
It appears that you already have an account on this site associated with . To connect your existing account just click on the account activation button below. You will maintain your existing VIP profile. After you do this, you will be able to always log in to http://comicsalliance.com using your original account information.